Wednesday, October 5, 2011

It should've been the airport...

Today would have been the start of our R&R. Since this was our first deployment, theoretically I don't know what I'm missing. We had some great reunions in airports when we dating while he was in Germany and I was Stateside. A lot of our unit has had their 2-week break, so I've seen the pictures and cheered them on. One of the battalions is coming home, too so that's all over Facebook. Sigh.

To tell the truth, I don't feel much of anything about all this. No negative feelings, resentment, or even anger. I'm not one to get too worked up over "what might have been". I think that hope kills anyway, so I try not to hope for things. That seems to always get me in trouble.

I think, for the most part, I've settled in here. Im tired a lot but I'm making do. I eat well at least a few days a week. I finally paid some bills and responded to some emails. I even watched an episode of "Glee".

Aaron is about 80% himself. His arms are all wrapped up so he's needing a lot of assistance. We're sweet to each other, and have even gotten in a few French kisses. Those are the highlight of my life. Love it.

His parents are still here and I'm grateful for that. I don't know how I could balance all of this alone. They're great people.

He's getting the best medical care in the world and I know it. Usually they take care of us, too. The system is working.

Hopefully, everything stays on track and his legs can stay closed and in a few weeks the skin grafts can start. I think we'll be in the hospital for about 6 more weeks.

This is it, folks. But there's never a moment of getting it, it's living it. Living with it. This new lifestyle, leaving my great friends at Fort Drum (I left Roswell, GA in April 2010 and Mannheim in August 2010 and now Fort Drum in September 2011, so leaving people I love too soon is a theme), and feeling like I'll never be caught up again are it. I'm also still processing the loss of one of the best friends I've ever had. Shit can really suck, life is full of it and it's up to us to make it happy. Life in it's natural state isn't usually happy. That's just how I feel.

Someone sent me this quote early on, not knowing the author is one of my favorites. I adore this:
     “I said to my soul be still, and wait without hope; for hope would be hope of the wrong thing; wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith. But the faith, and the love, and the hope are all in the waiting. Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: so the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
T.S. Eliot


  1. If there is anything I can do, or some type of food that any of you would like but can't get... let me know and I'll deliver it. :-) (I don't know if it's the Southern in me, but I always think of food for everything.) If there's a book, or a cd... anything.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

    Still praying...

  2. Yes, what Manda said, should you need anything. Magazines, magic tricks, playing cards, phone calls, anything. Just let us know. Does Aaron want anything? Radio, audio books, movies?

    Still praying here too.

  3. Still praying! And let me know if you need anything! Cupcakes included.

  4. That's a wonderful quote. still thinking of you guys.

  5. Praying for you and your husband. And I love the quote from TS Eliot!

  6. You're still in my thoughts <3

  7. Hugs and blessings to you and your husband from Alaska!

  8. I love the quote. Thank you for sharing updates - you all have been in my thoughts and prayers daily!

  9. Dear Unlikely,

    I'm a milspouse who has read your blog for awhile but was more of a quiet admirer (i.e. I didn't post any comments). I'll be down at NNMC next weekend to drop off dinner for the family of our command's chaplain who was injured over in theater and I was wondering if I could drop off dinner for your family as well?

    I'm sure its not much comfort, but please know that this milspouse has been thinking about you and your husband and holding you in my prayers since I read about the incident. I'm only a short ride down the Beltway if you need anything at all!

  10. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad he's getting the care he needs (and you as well)

  11. What strength you have and such a difficult story you are living. I hope things continue to improve and you are able to keep your spirits up. So glad to have come across your blog today. Having a tough time myself and appreciate the inspiration.