21 Days Of Baby.

We're 3 weeks out from surgery and birth, and so far it hasn't been too bad! I started feeling much better after 2 weeks, and now my incision site just burns a little. We've had a ton of amazing help, from my in-laws to my mom and some friends and even a newborn sitter. We've been able to stay about water with the house and not completely lose our minds.

Aaron is doing an incredible job as a new dad. I think he's adjusted better than I have. He takes the late night feeding and I do the early morning. He dozes a lot during the day whereas I have to actually go to the bed to sleep for an hour. Right now, Aaron's got the baby sleeping in his arms. We know we have to start putting her down more, but for now she's little and new and all the love in the world isn't going to hurt her. We'll focus on sleeping habits and schedule in a few more weeks. For now, we enjoy.

As far as baby girl is concerned, she's a mover and shaker. Diaper changes are usually a battle of legs kicking and torso twisting. You'd think we were torturing her. She eats a lot already, and thankfully I've been able to keep up and pump some extra for night feedings and the fridge. If I really committed to it, I think I could feed her all day and pump a day's worth, but ugh- I'm pretty wore out as it is! I'll address it later. Right now I'm just so thankful I've been able to nurse. That said, I'm no "lactivist." To each their own, and just because a mother doesn't nurse doesn't make her any less of a parent. Fed babies are healthy babies and that's the end of that.

As far as recovery, I feel about 90%. It took nearly two weeks for me to feel good enough to drive, which I wasn't supposed to do until the doctor cleared me at that point, anyway. During those first two weeks, I made a few trips out for supplies. It is only the past several days that I feel that I could put on real clothes and get out for a little bit each day, even just to walk around the block or pick up milk (the grocery store is literally right next door). I've piddled around the house so laundry and dirt don't back up, and some days are better than others. I'm still wearing my pregnancy jeans, but I look pretty normal, I guess. My body is not the same and just because I'm "tiny" doesn't mean this is what I want to look like for the foreseeable future. I can't wait to be cleared to exercise. It'll be good for me to be able to go jog a bit and lift some weights.

I 100% believe that I have not totally lost my mind because I respected my surgery and have allowed myself to recover from it. That said, I've been privileged enough to have support around to make sure I didn't have to do anything I wasn't supposed to do. But let me say it again- a Cesarean is not an easy way out, nor would I even suggest it as an equal alternative to vaginal childbirth. I am still glad I had it scheduled, but it's a guaranteed very rough following 10 days to 2 weeks. I will not be cleared for "normal life" until 5-6 weeks. I can feel my incision if I make a sudden move or just walk more than usual. While the whole journey the past 21 days has been better than anything I could have expected, we've still had challenges. I can't imagine doing it alone or with little support. God bless those women.

Well, our little Squishy is up again and she probably wants to eat again. It's a regular thing.