A life-altering injury to the one you're with is like being punched in the face every second you're awake until you accept it. Your mind races constantly with thoughts of little things that will always be different now. The information about the present situation is overwhelming. It feels like you're being run over by a train.
I remember walking along the sidewalk one night early on here, staring at the grass and bushes as I went by. It was everything I had in me not to throw myself down and sob until it all sunk in. I've often said that it felt like my whole life and my whole future with Aaron had been burnt to the ground. Everything I loved was gone.
But that just means everything from then on was to be new again. And while it feels like promises of a "normal" future were taken away, you have to accept that it wasn't yours in the first place. There were moments when I knew I was actually in hell, but those became fewer and far between. Not only were his legs gone, but some fingers and a lot of the mobility in his hands. We only have a hope that we'll ever produce a child, and there is almost none without full-blown IVF and sperm washing. If we're very, very lucky we can start that process next year.
And eventually, you move on, grateful and proud of yourself and the hero by your side. There is honestly no other way.
I think you are handling this with such grace and honesty! Thank you for sharing this with us :)
ReplyDeleteYou are SUCH a strong woman! I think about you and Aaron all the time. I'm so bummed I'm no longer living in DC so we could meet up. But I'm sending you positive thoughts and I'm so happy you guys have each other.
ReplyDeleteI admire your strength and positive attitude! You two are so blessed to have each other!
ReplyDeleteYour attitude is so inspiring--I wish I was half the woman you are!
ReplyDeleteI really can't image what any of your days have been like since Aaron's accident. But you both have been so amazing and inspirational throughout. And good for you for not hiding from the pain it caused early on (and I am sure will on and off in the future). Best of luck going forward and I can't wait for more photos of his progress and positive answers regarding IVF! You'll be in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYour posts always humble me and move me. I think you have the best outlook.
ReplyDeleteYou are always so inspiring. You have amazing strength and wisdom, and are a blessing to spouses who follow the same path and see your example. You are both in my prayers always!
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