Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Be. Nice!

I've been feeling all after-school special-y lately. Well, in my own special way. Think: BE EFFING NICE, PEOPLE. I just don't understand why some people intentionally reach out to be rude, mean, and cruel. I can't imagine judging someone for something they can't help- like illness or sexuality. I don't believe in hating on certain group of people because one of those kinds of people hurt me or someone I love. When I encounter someone like that, my first thought is to be understanding: Obviously the hatin' person experienced something wholly negative with X, and since I don't know what it's like I won't judge his or her entire character.

Don't get me wrong, I have spent a good portion of my life being angry. The last near-five months (FIVE MONTHS, HOLY CRAP) have been chock full of really angry moments. I can't remember what it was, but I was having to deal with some entity that wasn't being nice. I deliberately waited until I was pissed off about something else to make a phone call. I guess my knee-jerk reaction to a difficult and rude situation is to fight back. "Oh yeah? Wanna be rude? FINE. I WIN." Everyone has their rough days. I try to keep it to myself, take my meds, and drink a glass of wine. Or just sit in silence. More than once I've told my husband that we're going to be quiet for awhile so I can sit and stew. It happens.

So, I bought the first thing that has to do with a baby: a basal thermometer. Nope, we're not trying. I mean, we're practicing (BIG GRIN) but as long as he's on testosterone we aren't trying. We won't be trying until he's been off the T for about 3-6 months and his swimmers have been tested to see if we should even "try". But, I figure I might as well find out everything I can about my stuff. Aaron wants to spend a few months trying naturally if the numbers are in our favor. I'm a little more realistic/pessimistic about it, mainly because hope kills so I try not to engage in banking on a good turn of events in our favor. The ability to have children is never guaranteed to any of us, but it definitely sucks when you have to walk the path of alternative methods to become parents. I have accepted that IVF is most likely going to be a part of our process and I'm okay with that. But yay for me figuring my junk out so when and if it's time to rumble, I'll be ready!

I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their lives at the moment. A smile can go a long way- give one away today!

1 comment:

  1. A smile a day is so important. I walk into work everyday with a smile and so does everyone else. It is also the best work environment yet because everyone smiles. Coincidence? I think not! Happy practicing! ;)